The museum of broken relationships
Dražen Grubišić: ”Bon voyage is something I would really want everyone who is about to end a relationship saying to their partner. No angry feelings. Really say it and mean it.”
The first time I heard of this museum was during its travelling exhibition in Shanghai a few years ago. Unfortunately, I was caught up with other things, so I did not have the chance to visit it back then. Last year, I planned a trip to Croatia where the museum is located, but the pandemic hit the globe.
However, as people say: ”All roads lead to Rome.” If I cannot physically wander about in the museum, why not interview the founders instead?
Fortunately, the co-founder Dražen Grubišić agreed to an interview.
The Museum of Broken Relationships is a museum with a rather poignant name but a beautiful vision. It may seem a bit paradoxical - to celebrate something so painful - but Dražen Grubišić told me that the central idea of this museum is actually to teach people how to love and how to deal with different relationships.
Q: What is the background and the purpose of this museum?
A: The original idea was not to build a museum but to initiate an art project. It all began when Olinka (Olinka Vištica, the other co-founder) and I found ourselves at the beginning of a romantic break up. Like many others in a break-up, you will usually find yourself trapped by an object that although has a great emotional value, also hurts a lot at that moment. For us, the special object was a toy bunny that contained the history of our relationship.
Both of us travelled a lot, and the toy bunny was there to accompany Olinka or me when we travelled solo. It represented the missing half. While I travelled alone, I would take photos of me and the bunny and send them to Olinka, and she would do the same.
So, the question was: ”How to deal with this bunny?”
The suggestions we got were only related to destroying the things left over from a broken relationship, but we did not like the thought of destruction. For every couple, there will always be a thing that means nothing to anyone else in the world, yet it brings tears to their eyes. So, why do you want to destroy something that was once so important in your life, and erase a relationship from your history? It was not the right thing to do regardless of how the relationship ended. If you have spent time together, you have lived together, you loved, you cried and you have been through all kinds of situations, you must have learned a lot from each other. So, this person was part of your life and this person created part of your personality as well. That’s why, we began to discuss how great it would be if there was a place where you could store those items.
The word “museum” symbolises a shelter, a place which is safeguarded, a place where objects were stored.
That’s how the idea was born.
As time went by, we received extensive attention, and with it came many boxes filled with various objects and stories. A museum seemed like a natural choice.
As the first private museum in Croatia, we basically led the trend, and Zagreb has become famous for kooky galleries.
Q: What is the message you want to deliver with the museum?
A: Being a guy, especially in the Mediterranean culture, you are not supposed to be too emotional about breakups. You can get drunk for one day, and that’s it, you move on. I realized that there is such a big discrepancy between how much we have been taught about how to deal with professional and emotional life. I think that we are much less knowledgeable about how to handle our emotions and different relationships. So, I do believe that our museum has an educational purpose.
There was this great scene that left a deep impression on me: I was in the museum one day and saw an old man talking to the girl at the reception. He said: ”I am 86 years old, I thought I have seen it all. But today, I have learned a lot.”
Also, I have seen a lot of people walking out of the museum saying that ”Oh, I thought my breakup was bad!” So, they learned something. Yes, it could have been worse, or even for some, it could have been better.
Of course, the most satisfying moment is when you witness couples leave the museum much closer than when they entered it.
Q: Since its foundation in 2006, the museum has attracted extensive attention around the world, what is the reason behind it in your opinion? What makes people want to visit a museum of broken relationships?
A: I think it is about storytelling, and storytelling is universal in all civilizations. When it comes to true stories, you can connect with them on so many different levels. We have received a lot of stories, of various kinds, and we always want to show the full spectrum. Of course, we could have made it all about sad or laughable stories, but we want to include all aspects. All aspects of love.
For you as a visitor, depending on your emotional state or your own path and experiences, I am sure you will be able to resonate with some of those.
Q: How do you interpret the behaviour that people want to find a place to store objects left over from former lovers?
A: There are many different reasons, and I think it is more about rituals. The process of packing it and sending it away is a performance of ritual. On the one hand, it can be interpreted as an act of getting closure; on the other hand, it can also be seen as an act of immortalizing their love stories, a celebration of love.